A B C

[*] A is for age: 21+ (I'm not telling since you should never ask a woman her age)

[*] B is for beer of choice: ewww gross!!!!!!

[*] C is for career right now: Stay at home mom, teacher educating others on endometriosis, endometriosis patient, endometriosis supporter (of ERC and of others who suffer from the disease)

[*] D is for your dogs name: Maggie

[*] E is for essential item you use everyday: my stove

[*] F is for favorite TV show: Heroes

[*] G is for favorite game to watch: my college basketball (GO SAINTS!!!!!)

[*] H is for Home town: Glenville, New York

[*] I is for instruments you play: my voice (love to sing), used to play piano, flute and piccolo

[*] J is for favorite juice: Orange and Apple

[*] K is for whose butt you'd like to be kicking right now: I can't mention it here but it's a sorry to say the least

[*] L is for last place you ate: Home

[*] M is for marriage: Happily married now 14 years

[*] N is for your name: Jen

[*] O is for overnight hospital stay: Yes twice for myself for the last two of my surgeries (23 hour stay), one 3 night stay for my oldest daughter

[*] P is for people you were with today: my family

[*] Q is for quote: Ask me about endometriosis and I would be happy to tell you if you have a moment or several thousand

[*] R is for Biggest Regret: not seeing an endo specialist sooner

[*] S is for relationship status: Happily Married

[*] T is for time you woke up today: 7:30

[*] U is for underwear you have on now: umm isn't that a little private????

[*] V is for vegetable you love: fresh sugar snap peas

[*] W is for worst habits: trying to be a perfectionist

[*] X is for x-rays you've had: chest (once due to severe chest pain that woke me from a deep sleep that put me into the ER, and several times last year due to pneumonia)

[*] Y is for something yummy you ate today: homemade french onion soup with homemade bread

[*] Z is for zodiac sign: Aries

7 Years Ago Today and Tomorrow...

Both images from CandleAndRibbon.org
7 years ago we were trying to conceive (this was our Plan B). My Plan A when I found out that I had endo was to adopt. When September 11th, 2001 hit, I wondered why I was trying to bring a child into a crazy messed up world. Should I just stop and not try to conceive? Should I just give up my dream to become a Mom??

I remember the day well. I went outside with our dog, Maggie. I met up with our next door neighbor at the time named Claire and was chatting with her and her youngest daughter, Abby. It was a beautiful fall morning a little crisp but not too cold. After talking with her for a bit, I headed back into my home.

I got a phone call from Jeff at work just after 9.

Jeff: Have you had the TV on yet??
Me: No why?
Jeff: Turn on the TV
Me: I turned the TV on which just happened to be tuned to NBC so the Today Show was on. (after awhile that seemed like an eternity) OH MY GOD!!!!
Jeff: Yeah I just wanted you to know.
Me: (after hearing that buildings even up in our neck of the woods might be targets) Come home please...you can't be getting anything done there??
Jeff: Can't yet but you're right
Me: Leave the building...I don't want you there. Please just come home (deperation at this point).
Jeff: Gotta go for now, just wanted to let you know. I love you.
Me: I love you too. Please come home soon.

I then called up my next door neighbor. I mention this to Claire so that in case she were to turn on the TV, Abby wouldn't see the stuff. She was in shock just like I was. She then let me go to tend to Abby.

I then went back to watching TV for awhile. I was glued to the TV set. Jeff and I had several phone calls between us. After awhile, Jeff called me back one last time.

Jeff: We're going home. They are evacuating our building.
Me: (shaking) I'm glad to hear that you're coming home. I'll see you here and drive slowly and carefully please.
Jeff: No problem. I love you.
Me: I love you too, Jeff.

It seemed like an eternity before he came home. I knew how long normally it took him to get here from his work but for some reason time was passing so slowly. Things seemed to be standing still or moving in slow motion. I kept telling myself that it was the traffic on the highway...it must be the traffic.

When I heard the garage door go up, I completely lost it. I gave him a huge hug when he got inside our home.

I kept thinking about all those people in the World Trade Center complex and the Pentagon and the people riding in the downed airplane in Pennsylvania. Why would I want to bring a child into the world with this going on?? With people killing innocent people?? How does one explain this to a child?? My head was pounding from crying and thinking about all of the day's events.

Then to see the family members searching for their loved ones with those posters of them...I lost it again. I prayed that I knew nobody in this. My college lost a bunch of its alumni including one friar...Father Mychal Judge.

I called up a friend of mine to check on her since she lives and works in the DC area for the government. She was okay and relayed the story of her events that day. Her roommate was by the Smithsonian Museums on the Mall and felt the ground shake and heard a weird sound. She thought they were having an earthquake at first!! She said that everyone that she knew was safe and sound. I was relieved to hear this.

I was up until about 3 am since I just couldn't sleep. I was wired to the TV set and too emotional to sleep until I was dead tired. Finally I crashed.

The next morning there was a call put out in our area (being that we are in upstate NY) to help our downstate neighbors. So Jeff went to donate blood on September 12th, 2001. He stood in line at the American Red Cross blood donation station in a strip mall near his work. The line was very long. He got there at 8 and stood in line all day. People came by with homemade sandwiches, cookies and more for the people standing in line. Home Depot from across the street donated gas grills and the local grocery store donated food to grill up for dinner for the people.

If you needed to use a bathroom, you just had somebody else save your spot in line and used one of the bathrooms located in a store at the strip mall. There was one business that was booed because they wouldn't allow any "non-customers" use the restrooms.

Jeff mentioned that there was an eerie feeling about all of this but there was a big huge sense of community involvement. It didn't matter what work you did, what color your skin was, whether you were upper, middle or lower class, you helped out. I couldn't donate blood due to me being underweight.

I was in shock with this senseless tragedy for weeks. I didn't want to celebrate our anniversary which is less than a week later...somehow it just seemed wrong to be happy when others are suffering so much loss. My endo friends convinced me to go out to dinner (which was what Jeff and I planned). We went to a restaurant near the airport and hearing the planes go overhead after they had been grounded for so long was weird. I heard a car backfire and jumped. I can't imagine those people living and working in NYC's reaction to things or the people working in government buildings in and around DC.

Today as you go about your day, think about the losses that others have had from this day and how much pain and sadness they are going through. For those of you with kids, hug them a little bit tighter today. Tell all of your family and friends that you love them.

I imagine that this is what people in Hawai'i went through with Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941. The confusion and shock immediately following the tragedy and the loss of the life and ships might always be in their thoughts for years to come.

I will always remember. I will never forget.

Timeline of events on September 11th, 2001


September 11th Victims List