Sleep?? Who Needs That????

Yawn



I barely slept last night. I think I got roughly 3 hours from the way I was feeling when I woke up to Jeff's alarm clock going off at 5 something this morning. I laid in bed with my eyes closed listening to my music aimed at giving me sleep. I'm not sure how long I was in bed but at 6:20 I was crying....God I really need to get a couple more hours of good solid continuous sleep.

So much for my pleas and prayers to the Almighty. I decide to get ready for the day with my shower since the world wasn't awake in the home. I'm thinking I'm grateful for having my dad coming by at 9...I just need to make it until then and I'll take a nap.

At 9 my dad arrives and I give him a list of instructions...Seong Tae is sleeping in my bed due to a tummy ache, girls have had breakfast, dogs need to go out at 10, etc. Shortly after, I head upstairs for a 2 hour much needed nap after a sleepless night of discomfort and hot flashes.

I'm on Vivelle Dot .1 mg. I haven't had a hot flash until last night. Most of the night was one big huge hot flash. I'm not happy. I fought so long to keep my organs so that I could go into menopause naturally not surgically. I don't wish endometriosis on anybody. My maternal grandmother probably had it, my mom has it and I have it as well. I'm glad to break this cycle of pain, anguish, frustrations, and more. I'm glad that I found a caring surgeon who truly cares about the women that he sees. I'm glad that his office staff is so caring as well.

Right now I'm hoping that I can sleep through the night tonight. I need to have some good quality sleep to get me through the night so that my body can heal.

Doctors and More Doctors

Well I'm trying not to get too aggravated with the medical community but it's difficult. I have back pain that 3 months' of PT going twice a week didn't help. I also noticed last year that I have right leg pain that is cyclical. It occurs every three weeks...sound like something we women get each month right?? Try telling that to my doctors and feeling pretty well rejected.

My physical therapist suggested a spinal specialist and I saw him in late December. He doesn't think that my back pain is coming from my back at all. Of course that begs the question "Where is the pain coming from?". He suggested seeing another doctor who loves challenging cases and I'm definitely one of those. This other doctor is a physical medicine and rehabilitation doctor. Okay I'm game to see what he has to say.

My primary care doctor has basically dropped me. My obgyn doesn't want to deal with me as the back and leg pain aren't obgyn related. My physical therapist let me go but it's with the understanding that I can come back if I find it necessary to do so.

I've been screaming for help and most of the medical community isn't willing to listen. My primary care doc has been alright but not the greatest...my obgyn is not the doc that I want but I can't have her as she is retired and my other choice is too far away in Atlanta.

I had a nerve test earlier this week to check to see if the nerves are causing any problems for me. It's called a upper extremity and lower extremity SEP (somatosensory evoked potential) I don't want to go through that again it hurt my right hand and my feet for 2 days. I had trouble sleeping that first night. My hand still is having trouble and my legs feel like I've pulled a few muscles in it. The pain from it drove me nuts!!! I won't get the results from it for at least 5-10 days so you'll have to wait.

I also was advised to find a rheumatologist to look at my hands as they are red. So I'm on the hunt for a rheumatologist now.

My guess, of course, is that it's endo related. I'm not thrilled to be speculating that it's endo since that means a trip to Atlanta for surgery. But I already know who I want surgery with...

~Jen

Insomnia

I'm still suffering from it. It isn't fun. I rarely nap in the afternoons and I'm still up to 1 am. DH stays up with me some nights. I never was like this...at least not every night.

I've got my annual with my obgyn next month. I'm afraid to discuss the insomnia with her...I was blown off a bit last time when I complained and then was told not to nap. As if not napping would cure the problem.

Why do doctors not listen to their patients when they tell them something important? Why do they brush us off like we have nothing useful to say?

Insomnia and Tears

Insomnia and tears seem to go hand in hand for me lately. I'm up to 1-1:30 am nearly every night. I have difficulty in falling asleep. I don't nap in the afternoons so I should be tired enough to sleep but I'm not. I went from not suffering from it to suffering from it.

I'm still crying at times (probably due to the lack of sleep so I'm up thinking about things). I never wanted to lose my organs...gone is my uterus, left ovary and cervix. Gone is more than half of my right ovary which tries to function but I still suffer from hot flashes every now and then. I realize that with the extent of disease that I had, there was little choice for pain relief and I needed pain relief. It's a painful reality that I live with. It's my Catch-22...rip out the organs that are so disease they aren't worth saving or keep them and pray that I wouldn't have the daily pain that I was in before my surgery. We (Jeff, Dr. Albee and myself) chose for the best possible pain relief and that meant ripping out the organs.

When I found out that I definitely had this disease in January 2000, never did I figure that it would be this bad. Never did I figure that it would be bad enough for me to rip out the very organs that I longed to keep. Never would I imagine crying over their loss. My tears aren't constant but they are there late at night when the house is quiet and I can't sleep and upon waking in the morning when I long for more sleep but can't get any.

I keep meaning to call my friends up to vent about this disease seems so selfish at the moment to me. So I wait until I'm a little less needy.

My migraines have lessened but is that due to me taking butterbur twice a day? I have no clue.

It'll be 9 months this month since my surgery. Maybe that has alot to do with things.


just maybe..........

Been up Since 4 am...

I woke up this morning in sheer pain with my tailbone area. On a scale of 1 to 10, mine was a 9. I made it to the bathroom and came back out to try to sleep. Before 6 I gave up and went downstairs to take my pain med. I didn't want to wake Jeff up to get it for me at 4 even though I could have used it. I immediately took my med after getting downstairs and slept for maybe an hour.

My pain level is down to a 4.5 but don't ask me to stand or walk around too much today. I'm resting on the couch with my heating pad, my blankets, and my pillow to sit on. The kids are sick so they are resting as well today.

I had tailbone pain before my last surgery. While this pain has diminished dramatically with the number of days, I'm still having it and it can get very bad.

Side effects to the Imitrex Nasal??

Okay I took the Imitrex the evening of Day 5 to get rid of the migraines and while they did, they also caused me to have some other problems: severe abdominal pain and headaches that wouldn't quit. I had those nasty headaches the last time I tried it (even mentioned that to my primary care doc at my last visit with her). I'm not pleased about the side effects of the Imitrex.

So you give me a drug to get rid of my migraines which causes nasty headaches that won't go away with medications and abdominal pain to boot?????

Does this sound like fun to anybody???

Migraine Day 4

I'm miserable...really miserable. I have had a migraine for the better part of 4 days now which started Friday. It's cyclical. I was hoping that it was just a fluke.

I don't know how many more days of this I can take. My migraine med works but it knocks me out so I can't take it during the day until Jeff comes home after work.

I'm trying to search for answers online but my head hurts so much that it is difficult to read the screen.

I'll be in lurk mode until this goes away...I'm hurting too much

Ultrasound Results

I got the ultrasound results back...normal. Of course I knew that already since endo won't show on an ultrasound. I do have a small simple cyst on my remaining ovary...nothing to be worried about according to my doctor.

Ultrasound Today

I just got back from my ultrasound. The u/s tech had trouble finding my remaining ovary. When she did find it, she mentioned that there was a small cyst there. I should hear about the results in a few days from my doctor. I was hurting so much from the ultrasound that I was crying in Jeff's car in the parking lot. I'm resting tonight...I need to.